Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
