elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
