dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm at about main and main street
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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