remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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