why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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