Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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