I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
