She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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