This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
