my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
