you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
