babies were throwing up all over the place
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
