Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want her autograph on my taint
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
