If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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