So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
my poor anus
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
