someone threw a dead crab at me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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