O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my shit smells like andre
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
