Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
