I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
