how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
