I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
