Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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