i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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