if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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