Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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