I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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