That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
