this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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