weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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