i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
