im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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