i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
