If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
