also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
