I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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