So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
