Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
