the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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