This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
