those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
