the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
