your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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