I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
