I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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