I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
