i just had sex bonerless
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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