Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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