Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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