She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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