So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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