10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
